Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Couch. On fire.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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