he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
