remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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