her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
