Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
