Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
