When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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