Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
