This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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My dick has a subreddit
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize