I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You are a genius and a whore.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
