four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
