i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
