nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
