Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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