If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize