Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
