But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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