We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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