You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The Olympian is in my bed
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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