You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
