I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
