so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
