Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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