Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
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and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
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i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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