3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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