So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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