My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize