That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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