so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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