Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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