Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
