Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
