how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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