Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
