I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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