I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize