no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
