chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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