you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize