she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
