There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
