she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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