WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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