The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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