Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.