is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.