Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.