this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.