She is in my trunk
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.