I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.