There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
