Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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