I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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