I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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