i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
