So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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