K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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