You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
