Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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