She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
