never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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