saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
