he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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