And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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