omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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