I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
