Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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