That's intense
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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