New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
