I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
