I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
