my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
