I think I am morally bankrupt
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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