Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
